Happy New Year!

Not anything profound or different from the general population, but I am recommitting myself starting NOW. The New Year always symbolizes "change" or "resolution" or "new beginning". I've never put up a facade that I don't struggle with weight management on a daily basis. That's just life. I was always a skinny young girl, but that didn't stick once I became a busy, working, mother. I learned that I didn't just want to be "skinny". I wanted to be FIT. I've put myself and my body through some serious challenges. The truth is, I work HARD to be fit and healthy, but when I slack, it shows...FAST.

The last 6 months have been the hardest months of my life in probably almost a decade. My role within my company changed, I switched from not only being an administrator, but also a daily operations manager. I essentially work two full-time jobs, on top of having young children, training and running the NY Marathon and then when that was finished I went full speed into the holidays. On top of all that, I did it with a broken heart and spirit as the changes came at a great personal/emotional loss. It's no different or more stressful than anyone else, but for me, it was a drastic change in my life style and things had to be pushed off my plate. Thank God for Blythe Alberg, www.fitlifewithblythe.com,  as she was able to continue running the weight loss challenges.  My amazing husband, Marty certainly helped a lot and I can't imagine how I would have survived without him. I had to hire extra help for my kids, I've missed out on A LOT of things that I had grown accustomed to doing on a daily basis and I made a lot of personal sacrifices and pushed my sanity to the limit.

I maintained a vigorous workout schedule, obviously training for a marathon is not easy, but it was different and produced a different body style and routine for me. Then, when the marathon ended, I no longer needed to fuel myself for long distance running, but my appetite didn't adjust so quickly. So here I am: heavier than I've been in a long long long time and realizing that I put my nutrition on the back burner for too long, relying solely on exercise, and now it's time for me to get back on track!

I spoke with Blythe this morning, and normally, I would really beat myself up, but not this time. I made the change years ago to be healthy, I've had a set back in that I've been relaxed, but even heavier, I'm still fit and strong. I know what I need to do to get back on track and I'm reclaiming control to be my best me.

Think about the changes, wants/needs you recognized within yourself in 2014. Remember what you want and challenge yourself to make a commitment and be diligent so that you can reach your goals for 2015!

Happy New Year!!!!

Marathon Weekend

Well, here we are!  I'm sitting on the 162 train to NYC.  We are expected to arrive around 9:30am.  I've wanted to sit down and write about my weeks of training, but found I was too emotional, too tired, too whatever....  The past few months have been a whirlwind.  Short runs, long runs, endorphin heightened bliss and emotional falls.  Too many things to write about; Obscure injuries, aches, pains, lots of advil, KT tape, new shoes, long showers, 4am alarms, energy chews and goo.  The training was NOTHING of what I had originally expected and more than anything I could have asked for.

There were 6 of us sitting at that table when we decided we would run this thing.  I had a plan, I had a track, I knew what I was getting into.  I felt balanced.  I was prepared to take on the challenge and commit myself fully to the training that was needed.  My team was strong and we were all excited and ready to hit this goal!  Then life happened and I had to learn to make adjustments.  I lost my pace partner (she had to make the call that this was not her race), an emotional fall to say the least, but I learned a lot about myself and my own strengths through the trials that transpired.   I found myself with a heavy workload and a lot of unexpected stress.  The marathon was no longer the center of my focus, but instead had become something that I was trying to "fit in" to a very busy life.  For many weeks, I felt "locked", like I couldn't break open and enjoy the training.  I was frustrated with myself and I felt very isolated and alone in those feelings.  However, I was starting to notice that I wasn't the only one making adjustments.  The truth is, when you sign up to run a marathon, life doesn't pause.  Stress doesn't go on hold just because you think the marathon should be your focus.  Life just keeps moving and as I looked to my teammates, I realized that we were all learning our strengths and we were all pushing through and it wasn't just miles on the road where we were trying to just put one foot in front of the other.  

At times, it felt it was all too much.  It was in those times, I looked to my team.  I'd cry, or they'd cry, we'd talk, sometimes I'd just listen.  Sometimes we would laugh ourselves silly and I won't even try to explain why we chose to talk about certain topics.  I took out my feelings on hills.  I looked deep in my thoughts for peace during a long steady stretch.  I appreciated quiet mornings and the ability to tune it all out and just run.  Sometimes, life was so much that I couldn't run, but many times I laced up anyway and tried.  They weren't always good runs, but I didn't give up.  Even though I wanted to.  

Friendships stregthened, perhaps because when our strength was waning, we looked to each other for support.  Even those that aren't running the marathon offered support and became extensions of our team.  The relationships deepened as the miles increased and I found that even in my silent moments, my heart was heard..  

So here we are...sitting on the train headed to NY.  There are too many feelings to express and I find myself full.  My heart, my head, my bladder (lots of coffee this morning!)  Thank you Team Sole Society for everything.  Let's do this!

Emotional Health Matters Too!

Being healthy isn't just about eating well and excerising.  As humans, we are multi-dimensional.  Health and wellness is a balance of physical health, social/emotional and cognitive development (ok, ok, I'm tapping into my Early Childhoold Professional brain).  But you get the point-- health has many aspects and sometimes health doesn't have an obvious symptom or easy method of measurement.  

I had to miss my 16 mile run this morning, I'm pretty sure I have strep throat and a chest cold.  I was super bummed and even frustrated that I had run myself down so much that my immune system has weakened.  Like I mentioned, I'm back in one of the preschools working daily with the kids and let's just call it how it is...kids are gross.  They are little germ incubators and they touch everything and spread all kinds of sickies everywhere.  They are a force not to be reckoned with.  Get it?  Kids.  Are.  Gross.  

My system is already run down, with the marathon training, working long hours, little sleep, not the greatest diet because with all the running, I'm eating an insane volume of food and not always the best choices.  I don't have a lot of wiggle room to allow my body to rest and recover.  On top of that, I'm STRESSED.  Not all stress is bad stress, some stress just happens because well...life is busy.  However, when your body is kicked into overdrive and you're working longer hours, squeezing in workouts, managing a household and just dealing with life...the stress adds up and your mental health takes a beating.  

I've always been cognizant of my mental health.  I like to think that I'm pretty aware of my quirks.  Trust me, I know I'm not perfect.  But when I started this journey of health and fitness in 2009, I could see that as my body was changing, so was my persepective of relationships, life stressors, and daily interactions I had with people and situations around me.  I've learned that I am in control of my mental health.  I am in control of how I react to situations, how I interact with people and what I allow in my life.  There are some stressors you cannot change.  There are some things that you cannot remove from you life...because it's JUST LIFE.  We can't avoid all stress, but we can certainly limit it and recognize what stressors we're stepping into.  

My New Year's resolution for 2014  was to invest in relationships that invest in me.  I was realizing that I was putting a lot of energy into relationships and parts of my life that brought absolutely nothing but stress back on me.  It wasn't healthy.  It was destructive.  With that resolution, I felt immediate RELIEF. I was cutting the bullshit out.  Most of it wasn't a gradual separation.  It was a door slam, really.  I stopped putting myself out there, stopped with the phone calls, texts, attempts of getting together with people who never initiated any sort of interest in being around me.  I stopped trying to please others and fix others and when I felt that pang of "loss", as you sometimes feel when you've separated yourself from someone, I reminded myself of the feelings of disappointment, resentment and stress that the person/persons brought to my life.  Sometimes when you think you miss someone, what you really miss is the "idea" of that someone...and you have to put your perspective back in check and say, "what exactly do I miss about that relationship?"  

As I started investing in the relationships that invested back...well, I learned that there are some really awesome people out there.  The expectations are gone.  You just show up.  You're present in the moment, you genuinely care and they care back.  However, we all understand that world doesn't revolve around us as individuals.  We know that at any given moment we'd drop whatever we are doing to be there for the other person, but we also recognize that we don't have to fix each other.  To have relationships that don't rely on what you can give, only care about WHO you are...well, that's incredible.  We aren't a dumping ground for one another.  We don't spew out our stresses with the expectation that someone is going to help us out of it.  We share and commiserate and laugh and tell each other: I'm hear to listen; let's grab a drink or go for a run or let me just sit with you because being near you makes things feel just a little bit better.  I learned that there really are people out there that just want to know me.  They don't need anything from me but...me.  Also, they give me the greatest gifts of all and that is just their friendship, their time and their sincere thoughtfulness.  

On the other side of that, when I stepped back and stopped pushing myself into relationships, there were some that really surprised me to learn just how one-sided they really were.  The reaching out stopped, the calls stopped, the texts, the "hellos", the messages...everything just stopped.  Except the world did stop, it just kept going and I found myself recognizing that there was an absence in my life and I wasn't sure how I felt about it.  I would go from anger, to resentment, to sadness.  Why wasn't this person reaching out?  Are they really ok that I'm not part of their life anymore?  Did I believe this relationship was more than what it really was?  I'm such a fool.   So when you decide to stop investing in those that don't invest in you...prepare to have relationships end.  It still takes my breath away to think that it's over, I get that ache in my gut, that hurt that says, "But I really loved you, why didn't you love me back?"  So while it does feel good to see that there are some amazing people in your life, you have to deal with the reality that some people are ok with you not being in theirs.  Maybe it isn't as clear as that.   Maybe they don't know how to invest in you, maybe you pushed yourself in, maybe maybe maybe....there are so many variables, but you have to remind yourself (myself) that the relationship wasn't fullfulling needs and relationships cannot be one sided.  

Last week after my 20 mile run, I was thinking about so much.  I was on a runner's high.  My thinking was so clear and you really do learn a lot about yourself while cranking out 20 miles.  You learn you're stronger than you imagined, that when your physical strength is gone, your mental strength helps you finish and that when that's gone, your friends can help you pull through.  I was thinking about my friend Susan.  She was so strong.  She stayed with me and really helped me those last few miles.  My body ached, I wanted to give up, and I felt terrible that she was running slower so not to leave me behind.  But you know, she wouldn't leave me.  She stayed positive and was just "there".  God, I love that woman.  I can't express how much I appreciate her in my life.  

It got me thinking about past relationships and I how I hoped my friendship with Susan (and several others) would never end.  So of course, I start reflecting on those relationships that I was in so deep and how they ended so badly.  What did I do wrong?  How could I have saved the relationship or how I could I have ended it differently?  It scared me.  Like I said, I know my quirks.  I felt that when relationships ended, specifically when I stopped investing, most didn't end quietly, they end painfully and explosively.  How can I keep that from happening in the future?  My husband talked with me and lovingly said, "maybe you haven't noticed, but you've got a little bit of a temper."  He also pointed out, that I only feel like all my relationships end that way because it's the relationships that I put so much into that broke my heart so badly when they ended.  He pointed out that often times I put myself into friendships and did what I thought I should do and what I wanted to do and that it wasn't always in sync with what that friend needed/wanted me to do and then I would get upset that they didn't appreciate what I had done.  He suggested that I look at relationships and truly evaluate what that person needed/wanted from me.  That I gave and gave and gave, but maybe that's not what the other person wanted or even needed.  So I couldn't be upset with someone for not appreciating something they never wanted in the first place.  Also, I was lumping all endings into that category and that just wasn't the case.  So much to think about.  

Yesterday, I got a phone call from a very upset friend.  She's in a pretty unfortunate situation and it has really broken my heart; she deserves better.  I hate that her life is hard right now.  We hung up the phone and all I could think was that she needed a friend.  I started thinking of ways that I could "fix" her situation and ways maybe I could make things better.  Then I pulled myself back and thought, "this isn't mine to fix; what can I do?"   The best thing I could do as a friend was just be there.  So I asked her to meet me for lunch.  Before we even started to talk, I just laid it out there.  "I can't do anything but listen, and promise not judge or take over.  I'm just here to listen and cry and let you know that whatever you choose, I'm behind you 200%"  Then I listened.  I just loved her and let her know that I was a "safe" place for her to express herself and that if there was something I could do, to just ask and I'd do my best.

I went back to work and of course, I thought about her the rest of the day.  But I didn't do my normal tailspin of inserting myself into her problem.  At the end of my work day, I was getting in my car and found beautiful roses and a card.  She thanked me.  She gave me the most sincere thanks I've ever received and you would have thought I had waved a magic wand and made all her problems go away. But that wasn't what she needed, she didn't need me to make her problems go away.  She just needed me to be there.  That's exactly what I need from my friends too!  I finally felt like it made sense to me.  I had a revalaton on what it means to invest in others.  I felt like a had a mental break through and a deep understanding of what I wanted and needed in relationships.  I felt appreciated, loved, and confident that there really are people that just love me for me.  

Today, my stress is lessened just a bit.  I wish I had been a little less stressed earlier in the week, maybe I wouldn't  be laid up in bed right now with the sickies, but I do feel like I gained another healthy habit/life skill in recognizing how to be a better friend and appreciate the friendships that I have surrounded myself with.  It makes those other moments of insecurity and self-doubt a little less daunting.  

Now, off to sleep the day away and focus on some physical health :)

It's Not Easy

I found myself folding laundry at 3am the other morning.  Why?  Well, because I couldn't think of how I was going to get it all done.  By all, I don't mean the laundry, although it had piled up, what I mean is ALL...work, house chores, shuttling kids, train for a marathon, yada yada yada.  I just felt overwhelmed.  I was trying to think about how I could manage and juggle all that I had to do and I realized, that while laying there feeling overwhelmed and trying to pep myself up...I could probably have already started a load by now.  So, up up up I was and I was soon sipping coffee in a silent family room while folding laundry.  

My life has had some changes in the last several weeks.  One being that I haven't worked on site for my preschools in several years, but due to some unforeseen circumstances, I'm back to working full time on site at one of my centers.  It has been somewhat of a blessing, for many reasons, but professionally I feel more connected than I've felt in a long time.  I'm working with many personalities and balancing many many responsibilites.  It's been more positive than I had anticipated and for that I am truly grateful.  The downside to working on site is that I have less time with my family and I'm not as flexible with my schedule.  This makes working out well...difficult.  

Over the years, I've heard excuse after excuse as to why people couldn't stick to their healthy habits.  The biggest excuse is TIME.  I can certainly appreciate the struggle, especially given my current situation.  I'm basically working 2 full time jobs (on site at a preschool and still doing my other full time job as admin for both sites), another part time job (teaching for the community college), raising young children and in my spare time I'm training for this little race in November (NYC Marathon).  However, even with my full plate, I'm making my health and fitness a priority.  It's not easy.  No one said it would be and for anyone that thinks that only people who have nothing else to do are the ones who can focus on their health...well, that's a big fat lie.  In fact, I think that most people that can balance a lot of different things are better disciplined and focused and can prioritize their time well enough to get those workouts in and plan and prep to prepare for their busy schedules.  

I'm not tooting my own horn.  This isn't a "whoa, look how much shit I can get done!" post.  What I'm saying is that sometimes difficult things have to be done to achieve the results we want.  I'm overwhelmed, there aren't enough waking hours to get done everything that needs to be done.  Forget about the things that I want to get done.  However, focusing on your health is not a luxery, it should be a priority.  Some things are going to fall through the cracks, some things will have to wait; you may have to move your schedule around, and you may be up at 3am to fold laundry.  Life is all about choices.  It may look easy to others because your will is stronger than your excuses.  People might think that your life is easier than theirs and therefore you have the "luxery" of working out and eating well.  What people don't realize is that when you want something bad enough, you make time for it.  If this were easy, everyone would do it.  

The Mental Game

Today was the first long distance run I had to say, "I'm done" before hitting the distance.  Part of the team was running 18, part of the team was only doing 13.  I had in my mind that I would run 13 with those that still had a shred of sanity left in them.  My first 3 miles felt really good.  Mile 4, I could feel anxiety setting in as I started doing the math in my head, prepping for the upcoming route and thinking about my to-do list that was waiting for me once I finished the run.  Suddenly, my legs felt like lead.  My heart felt heavy.  My mind said, "enough."  So at 4.5, I turned to Susan and said, "I'm out."  She first laughed, but then said, "are you serious?" and sadly...I was.  

Kathy and Stacie weren't feeling the run either, each for various reasons...life.  So the three of us turned back.  We finished up at just under 7 miles.  I know, most people think, "Holy crud...7 miles!?!  That's nothing to sneeze at!" but this far into marathon training, 7 miles isn't going to cut it for my "long run day".  To say that I was disgusted with myself is an understatement.  

Let me back up to when I first woke up this morning at 3:45am.  The alarm went off and my very first thought was, "I hate running."  Yeah, probably not the most positive thing someone should think as they are 13 or 14 weeks (I've lost count) into marathon training.  But, that's where I am.  I've been working a lot and I'm tired.  I'm burning both ends of the candle and I was not mentally prepared for the day or the run.  When I originally signed up with the marathon team, I only thought about how much I love the running, the runners, the social connection, health benefits, and if I'm being honest here...the clothes.  Weeks later, my body hurts, it's not just the time commitment of the run but also the time in RECOVERY, my feet are hideous and can we just take a moment to appreciate the amount of laundry (both excessive running clothes and normal every day wear that is just piling up because of the beforementioned time spent running AND recovering that keeps me from putting any time into my house chores such a laundry, and don't even get me started on what my kitchen looks like...)  WHEW. Mini vent over.  Needless to say, I'm feeling a little overwhelmed and overrun.  Back to 4am, I did lay there and try negotiating with myself about why I really should or shouldn't run, I forced myself out of bed, got dressed, had coffee and breakfast and started my pre-run rituals.  Out the door by 5:45am and on my way to meet a couple teammates.  

The entire 10 min drive to Kathy's house to meet, I'm thinking about the run.  Stressing really.  I hear from Kathy she's only doing 13, and I thank my lucky stars and casually mention "me too".  Done.  Felt good to retract from the 18 miler that was looming over me.  But Kelly says she is doing 18. BAM.  Guilt.  "I should push myself" is what I'm thinking.  Then my body takes over and I start to cry.  Do I listen to body or my guilt?  I'm so torn.  I follow Kathy and Kelly in my car to our running spot start up.  I'm crying, talking to Heather on the phone, crying some more.  Feeling just way overwhelmed.  I tell myself to get my shit together as I see the rest of the team.  I get my fuel belt on, click DO WORKOUT on the Garmin and put one foot in front of the other.  Now, we're back to mile 4.5 and I'm turning around to head home.  MENTAL GAMES.  

Today was not my run.  I came home, got myself together and then worked the rest of the morning.  I just started knocking stuff off the to-do list.  Feeling a little come off my shoulders with each completed task.  I'm going to try again tomorrow, only 12 miles, tack that on with today's 7 and I feel OK with that.  I need to learn to trust myself and my instincts better.  I knew before even getting dressed that today was not my run.  There's a difference between pushing through because you need motivation and pushing through exhaustion.  I'm exhausted.  I need to make sure that mentally I'm able to tackle those long runs.  I need to get myself prepared and organized so that I can turn it off when I hit the pavement and I need to listen to my body when it says "AA you need to rest!"  Maybe that's something we don't realize until we're out there.  Maybe I could have pushed through and would have felt like a million bucks afterwards.  Maybe I would have curled into the fetal position sucking my thumb and they'd have to carry me away in a straight jacket.  I tried and I'm not going to look at it as a failure, just a lesson.  

So for today, I'm going to cross things off my list and focus on clearing my head and hopefully tomorrow I'll get a little spring in my step and feel better through those miles.  

I am real.

If I am quiet, I'm a snob. 

If I speak up, I'm a bitch.  

If I dress up, I'm stuck up.  

If I have a manicure or fix my hair, I'm prissy.  

If I eat well, I'm a health fanatic.  

If work hard, I'm a perfectionist.  

If I laugh out loud, I'm a show off.  

If I exercise, I'm vain.

If I had a bad day, I'm moody.

If I cry, I'm too sensitive.

If my house is clean, I'm uptight.

If I offer help, I'm controlling.

If I cannot help, I have abandoned you.

If I wear make-up, I'm superficial.

If I order a salad, I'm starving myself.

If I get up early, I'm neurotic.

If I ask for help, I'm needy.

If I am kind, I'm weak.

If I follow my heart, I'm stupid.

If I follow my head, I'm cold.  

If I am sad, I'm self-centered.

If I am happy, I'm clueless.

If I am mad, I'm self-rightous.

If I am me...  I am real.

I have found that people will always have an opinion of who I am.  The best thing I can do is stay authentic and true to myself and not care what others think.  I will continue to surround myself with people that love and care about me for who I am, rather than who they want me to be.  

Being healthy begins with loving yourself.  

Do Workout

To say that this marathon stuff is easy, would be a BOLD FACED LIE.  It's tough stuff.  Life doesn't "pause" while you train, so on top of dealing with daily life stressors, you need to keep moving forward and get those training runs in.  We are up to 14 miles for our long distance runs on the weekend and we do two shorter runs mid week (4-6 miles each).  I hit 100 miles for the month of July and my body can feel it!

Aside from the marathon training schedule, I've had some changes in life that are requiring me to really buckle down and focus.  As summer camp wraps up, I'm preparing for the kids' vigorous school schedule.  With a middle schooler in the house and our little guy going into first grade, they just seem to be getting busier and busier!  I've had to go back to working at one of my preschools full-time and while the work isn't necessarily harder or more than usual, it has required that I'm on location for the day.  That has really jammed me up in regards to the things in my life that I could incorporate into my previously typical work days.  Developing a new routine is going to take a few weeks, but some things are going to have to be moved to the back burner.  So deciding where I can cut some slack has been somewhat problematic.  I know it will all work out, but the adjustment period is bound to have some challenges. 

In all honesty, most days I Do.Not.Feel like running.  I'm tired, stressed, sore, etc.  A few weeks back, I posted that I didn't feel like running, but no one ever feels like dealing with cancer.  That really put things into perspective, right?  Can't really complain that I'm ABLE to run.  So I laced up and hit the pavement and I will tell you, I really did NOT regret that run.  I was reminded that my body is strong, that I chose this goal and that with all my strength I will do my very best because there are others out there that would give anything to be able to run those miles.  

I think the greatest lesson I'm learning from training for this marathon is that life is truly all about choices.  You can want to do many things, but in reality we're all given the same 24 hours.  I've made the commitment to my team and to myself, so there's no backing out, but for the next several weeks, I need to realize that I can't do it all.  I have to focus and push myself to reach this goal because life is pushing on me to do other things that at times sound a little more appealing.  Just like anything you have to work hard for, you need to focus, you need to push against all the "I can'ts" and tell yourself "I can".  You have to know your capabilities and recognize what other stressors can wait and you need to remind yourself why you're doing it in the first place.  

New Challenge Starts in August!

I've gotten an outpouring of requests that I do another challenge and that people would rather not go the entire summer without the consistent accountability.  I COMPLETELY understand that and while I can appreciate how much the challenge helps those, I need a break for my sanity.  So I've decided to just take the month of July off and start another 8 week Challenge in August.  

You can register now for the challenge by paypalling me at aliceanneloftus@msn.com (make sure you note that it is for the 8 week challenge)  The cost is $75 until July 1st and then will go to $100/person.  If you have already donated to Team Sole Society, please deduct that from the registration fee.   Private Message me with any questions or if you'd like to discuss cost.  Thanks!

Marathon Training in Full Effect

Training has officially started and I couldn't be happier with how it's going!  I've been running midweek consistently, and hitting those long runs with gusto!  Yesterday I completed just over ten miles with 1/2 my group and I can honestly say it was a good strong run that left me feeling like I was definitely on track to prepare for this marathon!

My friend Heather was in town all last week and we were able to get a couple runs, although one of our midweek short runs was disastrous for me due to the heat and poor prep throughout the day, I was able to hit the 2nd short midweek run with a fast pace and good distance!  Sometimes those bad runs can leave you with anxiety that the marathon will be too hard or that you're not strong enough; the best thing to do is get back out there and have a good run to prove to yourself that you can do it.  I'm thankful the girls pushed me to get back out there and crank out a fast 6 mile run and then set the base to do a strong 10 miler.  I absolutely feel like I've gained my confidence back and those two great runs following the not-so-great run definitely got my head back in the game!

Happy

Whew!  What a rough couple weeks I have had!  It seems that I've had the unfortunate ability to find just about every possible jerk within a 50 mile radius.  Every time I turned around, I found myself shaking my head in disbelief at how people could treat one another and act with such entitlement and disregard of respect and courtesy towards others.  I admit, I was starting to unravel.  I have been teetering on the edge of a complete meltdown and even found myself speaking and acting a little saucier than usual.

I look back at the last several days and while in the midst of all the chaos, I might have felt that I was surrounded by negativity, I sit here now, reflecting, and realize that I was in fact surrounded by many many blessings!

I think about those that acted unkindly.  I think back on the situations that left me drained and frustrated.  I replay the interactions in my mind and I cannot help and conclude that none of it was truly about me.  I was not a victim.  I was not the target.  The actions and words were not directed towards me.  I was simply a bystander.  I was caught in the backlash.  I felt the ripple of someone else's unhappiness and the toxicity of the poison from their own demons.  It was never ever about me.  I cannot control how they act.  I can only control what I feel and how I respond.

I see the silver linings.  I had to chuckle as I thought about last Thursday night, meeting my marathon team out for dinner and drinks.  We all arrived, comparing stories on how tough our individual days had been.  Ann's 6 hour commute, Erica's black eye, Susan's study cram session, Kelly's receipt of an idiot remark...I think each of us had reason to stay home and pull the cover over our heads.  Yet, there we were, laughing, talking and planning great things.  I think about the stranger at Whole Foods who went out of her way to try and brighten my day.  She stayed past her shift, made me a beautiful sushi platter for a party that I was not prepared for and did not appropriately plan in a timely manner.  Yet, from the kindness of her heart, she made things right for me.  My heart swells as I reminisce about the smile on my friend's face as she realized she had walked into a surprise party in her honor and how she graciously hugged each and every guest and thanked them for being there to celebrate her.  I well up with tears, as I remember the conversation with friends after a Sunday morning workout.  My friend Lara saying, "This is my church.  It is food for my soul to see my friends here.  I cannot help but feel lucky to be surrounded by such lovely women."  I giggle to myself as I text my friend Susan thanking her for including me as we attended a fashion show fundraiser.  Both of us exhausted from our week, but there...supporting another friend.  I felt pride as I kissed my children before they exited the car in carpool lane and I feel thankful that they are healthy and happy.  Even though they are growing right before my eyes, they look to me for reassurance and safety and I know that they know that I'll always be there for them.

I realize, yes, I had some really sucky interactions lately, but WOW, I've also been graced with some pretty fantastic moments too!  It isn't about me, whether someone acts in anger or acts in love.  It is about them.  It has NOTHING to do with me.  How I react and how I conduct myself, either in anger or love, is entirely up to me!  I choose happiness.  I am the master of my soul...

Dress Rehearsal

Last night I attended the college graduation of my dear friend, Aasima.  Listening to the speakers, a quote that really stood out to me was this, "There is no dress rehearsal in life."  #1, it made me think of my long time bestie, Lolly (hee hee!) and #2 it made me realize I have ONE shot.  One shot to be the very best me.  The best part about that:  my life isn't over.  I get to change the story line, plot, scene, musical number with every decision I make, action I do, smile I give and hug I embrace.  No, there may not be a dress rehearsal, but I own the stage and my story is not yet written...

Make today great!  xo

Who We Are...

What's in a name? Remember when we said that Team Sole Society was made up of some pretty awesome chicks? Let me tell you a little bit about our crew:

Ann Cole- "Legs" She's super strong and never complains. She's a machine that never misses a run or a workout!

Erica Hoffman- "Wild Child", she's new to our group, she has a love for life and such tenacity, you'd believe anything is possible when you're around her!

Heather DeBuse- "Lady Luck", She is our Lottery Winner! She's trained and paid for the race 3 times, finally ran it last year, I can't think of anyone more deserving to win a spot in the NYCM!

AliceAnne Loftus and Jessica Thomas aka "Frick and Frack", sisters by marriage, friends by heart. We tackled NYC last year as cheerleaders/supporters. We were so inspired that we knew we were in this year!

Kathy Williams- "Captain". We will follow her anywhere, she's always in charge. Our fearless leader; we've learned not to let her lead the way during a run. She might plan for 10 miles, but somehow we'll get lost and end up running 14 or more! 

Kelly Barnes Smith- "The Conversationalist"- Don't have much to say? Just run next to Kelly. She'll keep you entertained and give you much to discuss on those long runs!

Susan Shapiro- our "Solid Sister" Wanna go for a quick run? She's in. Wanna meet for a margarita? Sign her up. What do you say about someone who's always there for you, talented in so many ways and just about the biggest badass in town? You'd say, "that chick is SOLID!" 

Thank you so much for following our journey and supporting us along the way! We couldn't do this without you! Together, let's make a difference! Please consider donating to our team as we raise funds and awareness for The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. Every little bit counts!

http://pages.teamintraining.org/nyc/nyc14/teamsolesociety

Passion Becomes Talent When Shared

To have a talent is to have a gift, however, a gift is something that is meant to be shared...



This weekend I was speaking with a woman who asked me how I had so much confidence to take chances and put myself out there.  Without even a blink, I answered her, "I have confidence because I have passion."


In every aspect of my life, I truly try to find a way to give back.  I have specific things that I'm very passionate about; children (specifically early childhood education), health and wellness, friendships, running, and life long learning.  With those passions, I have spent much time thinking about how best to give back to the world around me.  I explained to her that the way I see it, life is about balancing what you give and what you gain.  The things I give myself to most, are the things in which I gain the most as an individual.  I'm not meaning that I look at things as a "what's in it for me?" attitude, but I do look for things to add to my life that I feel empower me, strengthen me as a woman/mother/friend and I have always looked at every experience in life as an opportunity for me to better myself so that I could give my best to those around me.

I can have passion that fuels talent, but if they aren't shared to enhance my life and the lives around me, then is it really a talent at all?  Looking at the things that bring me success and happiness, I find that it is by creating services, building relationships, spreading knowledge and sharing experiences I reach true success and accomplishment.  Ten years ago, I felt myself driven by the passion to create a warm and nurturing environment that fostered learning and discovery for young children.  I watched as my own children flourished through the program, community families came and went and I forever hold their young ones in my heart. I've had the opportunity to see amazing child advocates work within my program, spreading their love and knowledge and connecting with each student and many parents/families, over the years.

Five years ago, I developed a passion for health and wellness and I pushed myself beyond limits to change myself; my body, my mind, my life.  I found such passion in the transformation that I couldn't bare to keep it to myself, I wanted others to find their inner strength and I wanted to be that support and that cheerleader for them as they embarked upon their own journey of health and wellness.  I'm now surrounded by a community of people who live each day with the mindset to better themselves through exercise and whole nutrition. It's an amazing feeling to know that we might not have all the answers and there's no secret formula for health, but we fight for our best versions of ourselves.

In recent years, I've discovered a passion for running.  The friendships and bonds I have with fellow runners is unparalleled.  It is unlike any other exercise.  The hours of time spent on pavement, talking it (whatever IT may be) out, climbing the hills, caring for in the injuries and the people they belong to.  We cross those lines, jumping into each others' arms, not only because another race is finished, but because we were together for every step.  The passion has grown to give us confidence that we could run a marathon together, but not just to participate in yet another foot race; we're using this passion and talent to raise money and awareness for Leukemia and Lymphoma.  We run because we can.  We run because we want to give back.  We want to share our talent, share our passion, share our love and the support we feel and give to those who really need it too.

Passion becomes talent when it is shared.  Look for the things that bring you joy.  What makes your heart soar?  What gives your day worth
...and how can you share that with those around you?  Life is too short to step cautiously into your dreams.  You must jump up and go in the direction that fulfills you hopefully through your journey you can inspire, encourage and uplift someone's passion and ignite more talent into the world.

We Need Your Help!

Through running, I've made incredible friends, sole mates actually, and I've found ways to incorporate running in my life that gives me the opportunity to help others, coach, teach and spend quality time with my family (especially my children). I've ran many races, half marathons being my farthest distance, I've coached Girls on the Run (a program that uses running to teach life skills to young girls grades 3rd-5th) and I've spent a lot of time supporting the running community and using this amazing exercise as a way to enhance my life and the lives of others.

Team Sole Society has joined up with Team in Training to raise money and awareness for Leukemia and Lymphoma.  Each of us have an individual goal to raise $3900, but we're fund-raising as a team. We are 8 dynamic women who share a love for running and feel a strong passion to support the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society, as for some of us it really hits home and this cause is near and dear to our hearts.

Throughout this journey, I'll share stories of our personal heroes and honored teammates.   Heather shares,

"My aunt Cathy is a cancer survivor, who I watched run through her year of chemo. She is an amazing person, but especially she is an amazing athlete. She is a 6 time marathon finisher, the first marathon she ran post-cancer was her all-time personal best. She is a badass, and I'm glad to run in her honor!"

My friend Marnie, speaks of her nephew as she made a donation to our team:

"My nephew is a survivor of leukemia. He was diagnosed at age 6 - he is now 19!! It is my pleasure to support your efforts!!"

We've started our kick-off for fund-raising, and I'm reaching out to you all for support as we strive to reach our goals, of not only running this marathon but giving back and helping to fight blood cancer as best we can!

Please consider donating to our team (don't click my name, just donate to the team please!)
http://pages.teamintraining.org/nyc/nyc14/teamsolesociety

NO DONATION TOO SMALL or TOO BIG ;o)  Be sure to check to see if your company or spouse's company does a match donation and don't forget corporate sponsorship opportunities are available as well!  There are SO many ways to get involved!

We appreciate your support!

NYC 2014 Team Sole Society

"A society can enable its members to benefit in ways that would not otherwise be possible on an individual basis."

So our team name is set "Team Sole Society" and I think it fits us perfectly!  We are a society all on our own.  We share common interests, goals, and values, yet we are all unique and bring our own dynamic traits and characteristics to the group that enhance each other in ways we didn't even know possible.  I could not be more thankful for this amazing group of women and the knowledge, support, encouragement and camaraderie.

We are all signed up with Team  In Training (www.teamintraining.org) as we will be working to raise money for Leukemia and Lymphoma; it is a cause that so many of us hold near and dear to our hearts.  As soon as our team fundraising page is up, I'll post it and we would certainly appreciate any support, no donation too small, OR too big :o)

It's really happening.  We're committed and ready to start this journey!  

Marathon?!?!

Well, it looks like I've committed to run the 2014 NYC Marathon!  Oh Lord, what have I done!?  A few months ago, a group of us entered our names into the lottery to see if we would have automatic entry to this most amazing race (my sister-in-law, Jessica and I saw first hand how incredible this experience is when we went to support our two good friends Kathy and Heather last year).  Out of the 7 of us, one was picked.  I can't imagine a more deserving person to be drawn in the lottery.  Heather, who has registered, paid and fund-raised for the race THREE times, but only able to run ONCE, was finally picked.  We're an all or nothing deal, so the other six of us have committed to fund-raise so that the seven of us can do this marathon together.  We chose to join Team in Training to raise money for Lymphoma and Leukemia, a cause that is near and dear to many of us, and we will participate as a group to reach our goal of $3900/runner.  Stay tuned for our fund-raising page ;o)

Of course, we had to meet to discuss the ins and outs of this endeavor, so we chose to get our liquid courage at the Mexican Cafe in Annapolis.  Missing from the picture are Heather and Kelly, but they were certainly with us in spirit.  It was a fun evening of planning, freaking out, brain-storming fund-raising ideas, and more freaking out.

(Ann, Jessica, Kathy, AA, and Susan)

The next step was for me to be cleared by my doctor to begin training this June.  I was SO nervous, as a few friends, and even my husband, didn't think he would give me the clear.  Of course, I had high hopes.  As much as I tried to accept the possibility that he would tell me "no", I went into my appointment yesterday with FULL intention of telling him that I was strong and able to train and run this race.  I nearly dropped to the floor when he answered my inquiry with, "Absolutely!  Just listen to your body and be smart.  If pains come up as a result of the training, we can reassess, but I see no reason why you can't do this."  YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!!!  I got the clear!

So, last night, we all started individually registering for Team and Training.  Getting this email made is REAL.  It's happening.  Our journey begins! 

Now...we just need to come up with a cool team name?  Taking suggestions ;o)

Slow and Steady

I wanted to share this from one of our fitness/weightloss challengers. She's never won the cash prize, as she has inched her way along over the years. I affectionately call her my turtle. I'm very very proud of her!


"I have lost 29 lbs. I was hoping to hit 30 this week! Next week.
My high point (weight wise) was in Aug 2012 which was my first full challenge that I participated in. I just measured yesterday and am down 18 inches since then (5 in my belly!). I have gone from a size 16 to a size... 10 (regulars- not relaxed fit!!). Whoo whoo! I haven't really haven't gained in MONTHS.

It took 3 challenges before the weight started to really drop. I lost less than 5 lbs the first two challenges and was frustrated. The group kept me positive and encouraged changes and gave me ideas. I made MAJOR changes in challenge 1 and 2. Although, I think my body did NOT believe me. PLUS challenge 3 is where you gave me the big speech/challenge/smack-down regarding the 3 egg white veggie omelet for breakfast. That added to my other changes turned the corner.
During challenge 1 and 2:
- I stopped eating out (4-7 times week and started cooking MOST meals at home)
- I stopped eating after 7:30 or 8 p.m.
- I gave up soda (as a computer programmer, I was drinking 8-10 cans of diet soda per day- this was my biggest/hardest thing to give up!)
- I started to pack my lunch everyday even if I wasn't leaving the house. I take my lunch in the car if I run errand so that I don't get caught out needing to eat without having my healthy choice handy.
- I try to eat a 3 egg white omelet with veggies and turk sausage.
Again, it took until challenge 3 for my body to believe it wasn't just a "phase." ha! ha! I am your turtle and it is working-- slowly. When times get tough, the group keeps me focused. I flip flop back and forth between being a super active poster in the group and just reading with my hand barely on base, but it works! I want to lose 20-25 more lbs. I will keep plugging along."

Thank you so much for sharing your story! Keep working, girl! You got this!

Day 23 and Start of New Challenge

I've come a long way in the last 11 days.  These have been much much better than the first 11.  I'm starting to get up and about, I was able to drive my kids to and from school a couple days last week, and I'm feeling stronger by the minute.  I will never ever ever take my health and physical abilities for granted!  I'm hoping to be cleared for light walking/exercise in the next 2 weeks.  I think just being able to get out and get some fresh air and move my body (albeit slowly) around is really going to help get some normalcy for me.  Every day has been a step forward, some smaller steps than others, but I'm moving in the right direction and feeling like I can see my life returning to at least a slower version of normal soon.

The Spring Weightloss/Fitness Challenge kicked off this past Friday, we've got another great group, nearly 70 challengers, and Blythe and I have made a few adjustments as we want everyone to get the absolute most out of this challenge.  We have weekly physical and nutritional challenges as well as tips to discuss and help everyone find their groove.  This week's discussion is about motivation; What motivates you?  I closed my eyes and thought about the question.

PEACE.  I just feel like a better person when I'm eating well and exercising. I feel like my mood levels out, my body handles stress better, I'm stronger and capable of handling... LIFE. When I wasn't in a healthy mindset, my life was very chaotic and stressful. The stressors haven't changed, but my outlook on life has. So that's what keeps me motivated, because I never ever ever want to go back to a place where I don't feel comfortable in my own skin. I can't control the world around me, but I can control how I feel and how I treat my body.

I think it's important for us all to think about what motivates us.  What keeps us going when we want to give up?  Motivation is something that gets us started, gets us back on track and pushes us when we just don't think we have anything left to give.  When I start feeling lack of motivation, I think back to the times in my life when I wasn't very healthy.  I think about that girl, how lost and trapped and frustrated she was with everything going on around her.  PEACE.  It's when you can be confident of your abilities and know that you'll get through it as best you can, regardless of what's going on around you.  It's peace within yourself, in a chaotic world that doesn't care what you're going through.  PEACE.  You cannot control it all, you can only control yourself.  PEACE. Believing that you and you alone can pick yourself up and if need be, put all the pieces back together.  Everything you need, is already inside of you.

Learning Some Lessons

So I've been recovering from a surgery.  I'm on day 12 of recovery and I've decided that because of what I've learned and experienced to date, it was something that I needed to share.  I won't go into the gory details and explain the ins and outs of the surgery; it's something that was necessary for me to do and I'm taking one day at a time and moving forward.  I will write about what I've learned through this experience though because that's what I want to focus on in this specific post.  

In the months leading up to my operation, I worked hard.  I ate clean and trained dirty.  I focused on getting into really great shape, because everyone knows the healthier you are, the faster you heal!  I was told that the recovery would be long.  So when the doctors told me months, I "heard" weeks.  I just had disillusioned myself to believe that I was stronger than the average Jill and that what I was being told were not really things that applied to a beast like me.  HA. HA. HA.... HA.  

So here I am.  Day 12.  Not only am I still really in a lot of pain, my pride is pretty bruised too.  Let me just be honest, Days 1, 2, 3, 4, oh hell...up to day 7 were pretty much a blur.  I was doped up, asleep most of the time or high as a kite and I am told that I scolded my 6 year old for wearing bananas on his feet.  Yeah, pretty much just under 24 hour watch and care and not really sure what went on those days.   I know that I had a lot of visitors and I have blips of moments and conversations that I can recall with people as they came to see me and care for me and my family.  While I'm talking about those that came to visit us, or called in to chat,  I have just about the best friends and family anyone could ask for and nothing showed that more than the love and support we received and have continued to receive.  

So back to day 7, I had expected good news from my doctor.  I had expected to hear that I was making remarkable progress and that he could not be more amazed with how well I was doing and that I would be on my feet in no time at all.  Remember, I've been completely doped up for a week, I had no idea how I really looked or what I truly felt like.  However, when he looked at me and told me that he had some concerns and that they would need to do a minor procedure because something "didn't look right" and he'd rather just get in there and find out what's going on...well, to say I was crushed is a major understatement.  Lesson:  I am human.  I do not possess super powers and I cannot compare my recovery to anyone or anything else.  It is mine and it will take the time it needs to take, regardless of who I think or believe I am.  I am not in control of this process.  

Days 8-10.  HELL.  Absolute, unequivocal, hell.  I cried non-stop.  I was in agony.  I couldn't believe what was happening in my life.  I felt guilt that I could not care for my family.  Our lives were upside down and I was finally facing reality in that it was going to take some time for things to be normal again.  I felt even greater guilt that my husband had moved his office to our home to care for me round the clock and manage our household; he administered meds, he was never more than 20 ft from me unless he was carpooling kids, walking the dog, putting together meals, or getting something for me that he thought might give me happiness, comfort or put my angst at ease.  He was/is a saint.  I could not be in more awe of this man.  He not only stepped up to care for me, he stepped in and cared for everything.  All with the patience, understanding, love and tenderness that brings tears to my eyes because in our 12 + years together, I have not seen a greater demonstration of absolute love and devotion.  

I woke him from his sleep at 3:30am on day 9.  I sobbed like I hadn't sobbed in years.  I was so completely broken and experiencing just about every negative emotion humanly possible.  He did not even try to rationalize with me.  He did not complain that it was 3:30 in the morning.  He did not mention that for the last 9 days he had slept in either a chair or couch next to me, waking every 4 hours to give me meds, take me to the bathroom, rub my legs, get me water, adjust my pillow, the list goes on and on.  He held me.  He let me cry.  He said it was "ok" and asked what I needed.  HE ASKED WHAT I NEEDED!?!?!  I sobbed harder.  What I needed was to make it all go away.  What I needed was to show him that I was so thankful and that I loved him so much that I could take care of things too, that I was his partner and that he didn't have to do everything.  Of course, at this point we all knew that there was absolutely NOTHING I could do and that he was handling everything.  Alone.  I once again, could not handle the pain of this realization.  I was so devastated by this I fell to pieces and I could not put myself back together again.  Looking at it now...Lesson:  I am loved.  I am with someone that truly puts all his needs aside for the one he loves.  At one point, he was helping me shuffle across our family room to sit, and he held my hand in his and he said, "I'll be your anchor."  He said it meaning, "put your weight into me, so you don't fall."  I heard the truth...He is my anchor.  

Day 10 was my angry day.  I could not even formulate a sentence without completely falling apart.  I had no one to be angry with, and I couldn't get myelf around to even stomp or slam things, so I just laid there and sulked.  I slept when I could, would wake up and cry, I tried to avoid phone calls, but my dear friend, who is also a P.A. and has closely monitored me through this process (I had been dodging her calls for 2 days now) phoned again and I knew if I didn't speak to her she would be beating down the door within the hour.  I answered.  She immediately said, "Spill it" and I did.  I cried and cursed and cried some more.  She said all the right things, made me laugh, listened to me rant and tantrum and well...lose it.  Zero judgment.  She just loved me.  She spoke to me with doctor words and brought me through reality and helped me gain new perspective.  That phone call changed me.  After we hung up, I answered all the texts from everyone else, I took other phone calls, I cried some more with other friends and I stopped saying "I'm fine." and started being honest and started saying "I hurt.  I'm scared.  I need my friends."  Lesson:  I have real friends.  REAL friends.  I learned that these friends aren't just for Girls' Night Out, they are for life.  Daily life; ups, downs, laughs, cries and all that in between.   I have almost 800 "friends" through social media.  I have people who think they know me.  I have aquaintances that are lovely and I enjoy my time with them.  Then I have FRIENDS.  The ones that check in, visit, call, bring lunch or dinner, drop of magazines, send funny little texts throughout the day to make me smile and give it to me straight when I'm having a complete meltdown.  I have FRIENDS that even when I'm not going through something like this, we make TIME for each other.  Even if it's just 30 seconds a day to say, "Hey, thinking of you." As we ended our conversation and I said, "Why on earth would you ever want to be friends with a lunatic like me?"  She laughed and said, "because I love you and I know for a fact you'd be there for me." and she's right.  I look at my dynamic group of incredible women friends and I am so incredibly thankful.  A friend is someone that loves you even when you have nothing to give but YOU...so to all my FRIENDS, thanks babes!  You have NO idea how much I value each one of you.  Your actions warmed my heart and lifted my spirits.  

Day 11, I turned a corner.  I had a good night's sleep (probably from exhaustion of all the crying!) but I woke up ready to conquer the world.  Then I readjusted my perspective and decided I was ready to conquer the hour and just take it from there.  I set myself into a positive mindset and managed to get myself presentable because my husband was taking me to the doctor for a follow up.  I lowered my expectations so that I would not be disappointed.  I went in expecting nothing, I got nothing (meaning not much progress, but no set backs either!)  My husband said, "well that was sort of anti-climatic" but I was just happy to not be disappointed, so for us both, the appt well beautifully.  However, it WIPED me out and I slept most of the day afterwards.  My mom brought us dinner and she was so happy to see me happy and well rested that I thought her heart would just burst.  I managed to have a productive evening with a Webinar for work (thankfully there are a few things that can distract me from this recovery) and I went to bed feeling as though I had given my best and it resulted in a good day.  

Today, Day 12.  I didn't sleep well last night.  My legs and back hurt.  I could not get comfortable.  I laid awake most the night watching the clock waiting for the next round of pain meds.  I felt myself getting frustrated that I couldn't fluff pillows or roll over to my side or really do anything but just lay there and watch the minutes go by.  I was determined to allow my husband to sleep.  I just had to let him sleep.  I knew if I woke him, I'd have another day 9.  I knew it.  So I had a rough night on my own.  As morning arrived, the kids were getting ready for school, Marty was doing the morning scramble (alone again) I felt myself sinking.  I didn't even want coffee or breakfast.  Marty sat with me and rubbed my leg and asked again what could he do.  I cried.  I turned my face to my pillow and cried.  I couldn't face him.  I hated that I was sinking back especially after I had such a good day the day before.  I didn't want to go back to the negative feelings.  I told him that he needed to just get the kids to carpool and I would be ok by the time he got back.  He left and I turned back into my pillow and cried.  Cried hard.  I put on my brave face, but still hadn't moved, not even attempted to shuffle myself to bathroom when he came back home.  He knew it too.  But I saw in his face as he prepared himself for a rough day.  He wasn't scornful or resentful.  He was focused and determined.  He was strong.  I looked at him for a minute and then said, "I'd like to get dressed for work today"  LOL!  So he helped me get ready.  I did my make up and put on a pretty blouse with my sweatpants and even put on jewelry.  He cleaned up our family room (my bedroom) and set a hot cup of coffee by the computer he had moved to the family room and placed near our large comfy chair...and I "went to work".  I worked all morning.  I even had a meeting with my directors (they came to the house) and were very very productive.  The girls were patient with me.  I'm sure I lost focus and I had to apologize many times because I was feeling tired and they had to repeat a lot of conversation and details from previous days.  It felt amazing to work.  I may have pushed too hard, as I was getting more and more tired, but I also felt exhilerated because I was DOING SOMETHING.  It ended up being a fantastic morning, and got even better as one of friends brought my favorite lunch and we chatted for a long while.  Lesson:  I can't control the process, but I can control my attitude.  I made up my mind to be positive and that's exactly what I did. I was cheerful, thankful, honest and faced the day with the mindset that I could get through it without falling apart.  That's exactly what I did.  

So now, it's time for bed.  I feel good about today.  Day 11 and 12 have been positive for me.  I'm tired now though, so I'll continue tomorrow.  Many more lessons I cannot wait to share!

Moving With Purpose

The other morning while standing in the check out lane at the grocery store, I painfully watched as the cashier clumsily went through my belongings.  She struggled to get them scanned, carelessly tossed them past the conveyor bellt and haphazardly man-handled my items.  To me, it seemed her mind was elsewhere and she was just "going through the motions" hardly giving thought to the job that was before her.  

Several weeks ago, Blythe posted a discussion in our challenge group about going through the motions and how we really needed to focus on what we are doing during out workouts; making each movement deliberate and putting forth the energy to make change.  As I watched this woman who seemed to be light years away from being a cashier, it struck me that Blythe's lesson went way beyond the correlation of movement in exercise and really had to do with the greater picture of how we each go through life!

Something I've always said is that we need to "move with purpose".  We get up every moment with a purpose for the day.  We have goals, aspirations, "to do lists" and meaning to our day.  If we don't...then what do we expect to happen?  Are you someone that waits for your life to happen to you?  Are you waiting for life to fall into place?  Do you really expect that life will get better or that you'll magically fall into the right path that leads you to success?  Things don't just happen!  YOU HAVE TO PLAN AND PREP!  There's no such thing as luck, only prior proper planning meeting opportunity.  Do you really think you'll wake up one day and say, "wow, I finally dropped 10lbs!"  or  be walking down the street and pick up a winning lottery ticket that will change your life?  Life just doesn't work that way.  You must work for what you want; anything worth having takes work and if it sounds too easy to be true, chances are it isn't true.  

Too often I see people floating through life like a plastic bag, yet always wondering why they aren't getting to where they want to be.  I'm not someone that allows life to happen to me, I go out and live the life I want and work hard to achieve what I believe my purpose should be for myself.  I don't expect anything to be easy and I do not belive I can be made a victim of circumstances unless I give up that control.  That's not to say that I never have a bad day, but there's a difference between having a bad day and a bad life.  Do you feel that you can never get on track?  Do you feel that you're a victim of circumstances?  Do you feel like you're out of control and can't collect the reigns of your own path?  Look deeper within yourself.  Are you working as hard as you can?  Are you listening to your own excuses and setting up your own road blocks?  Are you just a cashier tossing things across a conveyer belt waiting for life to shake you awake?  Whatever you answer, where ever you are in life, really reflect upon yourself and make the commitment to stop going through the motions and take control of who you are and who you want to be!

What's Your Health Worth to You?

Do you have $6.25? That's a Starbucks coffee, a Subway Sandwich, a few days shopping at the vending machine. It's also the cost of our Weight Loss Challenge and Fitness Program!

That's right, for $6.25/week you get to participate in da...ily check-ins from the comfort and privacy of your home, weekly physical and nutritional challenges, weekly lessons and discussions with the world's #1 weight loss Podcast speaker, Blythe Alberg, and the invaluable support and motivation from a community of people who are all working to improve their overall health and wellness! Oh, and there's cash for the top "losers" after 12 weeks! Yes, you get a hot new bod AND CASH! Sounds like a win-win!  


 

 

 

Challenge Rules:

1) First weigh in is Friday, 4/4
a. Scale Picture- Must use SAME DIGITAL SCALE (no exceptions!) throughout entire challenge! Change your batteries now, get your pedicure, and always always always weigh yourself wearing the same exact clothes (or nothing!) and at the same time of day! First thing in the morning is best! My advice: GET UP, PEE, WEIGH, SUBMIT
b. Before Picture
i. Men- Sports shorts
ii. Women- Sports bra and shorts of swimsuit
2) Each Week I will post nutritional and physical challenges. Blythe will post her weekly lesson. There is a Monday Check-In, that’s when you let us know how you’re doing and what your weekly goals are.
3) Every Friday you weigh in using a link through Google Docs (I will provide you with the link) YOU MUST TAKE A SCALE PIC EVERY FRIDAY and email it us as well! If you cannot produce picture that matches the weight you submitted, you are automatically DQ’d.
4) Every couple weeks, I will post a TEAM CHALLENGE. That's when you work collectively to hit a goal (ie. highest average minutes exercised, largest average % weight lost for the week, most team participation, etc) It helps break up the monotony of the 12 weeks and gives you even more accountability; lets face it...you will work harder when you're worried about letting others down because they will KICK YOUR ASS! LOL! Team captains can tell you more because they've done the challenges before and they know my methods a bit better. I think sometimes it can be helpful to reach out to a team captain when you're struggling or need support because you know they are right there with you. It's a buddy system that allows you to seek support in a smaller group. You cheer each other on, push each other and participate in friendly banter! The teams are AWESOME!
5) At the end of the 12 weeks, the top 3 losers (based on % of weight loss) split the cash pot! 1st place- 60% cash, 2nd place 25% cash and 3rd place 15% cash.
6) Challenge goes from 4/4 to 6/20. The object of this challenge is not to starve yourself on Thursdays so that you have a lower weight on Friday. This is about living a healthy lifestyle that finds balance. Eat well, exercise and enjoy life! This is about sustainable weight loss, with a little friendly competition while gaining knowledge to improve your lifestyle and maintain healthy habits!
7) YOU ARE ALLOWED ONE MISSED WEIGH IN! After that, you are DQ’d. If you know you can’t weigh in on a Friday, submit weight on Thursday please!

Message me for more details at figureitoutchallenge@gmail.com

 

Making Health a Priority

When you think about your day, there are some things that you do without fail.  Those are your habits.  You get up, get ready for your day, go to work, or start working on your projects at home.  You have your routine.  Your life.  When you make your health and fitness a priority, that becomes your life as well; it becomes part of your routine.  

Every week I have to grocery shop for my kids' school lunches.  I plan, I purchase and I prep.  It's not always fun, and sometimes I'm scattered, rushed and feeling stuck, but it gets done becuase my children need a packed lunch.  Why do I do it?  Well, because I HAVE to.  It's a necessary.  It is part of our life.  Well, meal prep and lunch prep for myself and my family is equally important.  I take away the variable that I can "just go out to lunch" or "I'll grab a quick bite while I'm out".  I make it a plan.  I make it a priority, a NECESSARY for me to do the same plan and prep as I would for my children.  

Every day, I brush my teeth.  Why?  Well, because it's healthy; it's necessary; it's part of my routine.  I don't say, "oh, I don't feel like brushing my teeth today" or "on Monday, I'll start brushing my teeth again".  It just doesn't work that way.  I know the difference between 3 minutes of brushing teeth and 30 minutes of exercise is a little different, but the concept is the same.  I exercise because it is healthy; it is necessary; it is part of my routine.  I get up, I brush my teeth, I wash my face, I get dressed, I work out, then I get ready for my day.  That's my routine.  Sometimes, it doesn't always work out in that order, and I have to make time to get the exercise to fit some place else in my schedule, but 90% of the time, I can carve time out of my day to get that part of my routine done.  

Everyone has 24 hours in a day.  I do not live in some magical vortex where I get extra time to exercise.   I have small children that require a lot of my time and focus.  I run my own business, I organize and mentor weigh loss challenges, I volunteer in my community and I still manage to have a social life and find downtime.  I'm not trying to sound all "high and mighty", but my point is I make time for things that are a priority to me.  We ALL do.  We just have to make sure our "wants" are not taking priority over our "needs".  Bottom line, HEALTH MUST BE A NEED.  Without your health, you have nothing.

Are you having trouble making time?  Let's review our schedules.

1.  Write out your schedule and routine.

2.  Are there things in there that are unnecessary?

3.  What are you spending the majority of your time doing?

4.  Is it necessary to spend that much time?

5.  Do you have 30-60 minutes where you could fit in time to exercise?

6.  Do you have idle time?  (Facebook, Candy Crush, Television, Talking on the Phone, etc)

7.  Recognize your time wasted.  What are your "time suckers"?

8.  Reprioritize.  

If you'd like more help in setting a schedule/routine, feel free to message me at figureitoutchallenge@gmail.com 

Remember, you don't FIND time for your priorities, you MAKE time.  

  

Beautiful Inside and Out

Over the years, I've seen myself go through pretty dramatic changes.  Losing over 60lbs, dropping nearly 18% body fat, going from a size 10 to 0, and everything in between.  I at times find myself a slave to the scale.  I have to remind myself that the scale only measures ONE thing.  The scale does not know me.  It does not validate whether or not I work hard.  It does not know whether or not I'm healthy, strong or happy.  The scale does not know me.

Through the weight loss challenges, I've seen many people go through dramatic changes as well.  I've had people drop serious weight, some stay the same weight challenge after challenge with no physical change but demonstrate TREMENDOUS growth in character, some stay the same weight challenge after challenge, repeatedly falling back on the same habits and rituals that lead no where. 
I've had people apologize profusely to me for their lack of progress.  I have people that fear I'm disappointed in them or that they've let me down.  I think those apologies are absurd.  Who am I to judge?  We are all on our own separate journey, merely peering in on one another; checking in; encouraging and supporting from our own paths.  I often joke, "Do you think I won't love or care for you if you don't lose weight?!"  Doesn't that sound silly?! 

My health and fitness journey has taught me a lot about who I am; inside and out.  I found that I'm stronger, more focused, more determined and more stubborn than I thought.  I've gained empathy and compassion for others.  I've learned that if I speak my fears, insecurities and doubts out loud, I'll find I'm not alone; and even better I've found that my words often give comfort and encouragement to others who thought they were alone and realize that they are not.  Being healthy is a lifestyle, a commitment that you must make to yourself, and it is NOT EASY!

I've never chastised anyone when they don't reach a goal.  We've all struggled.  We've all set goals, fallen short; we have to pick ourselves up, brush off and try again.  The beauty of growth and progress is that you love and respect yourself enough to GET BACK UP.  I'll always be a cheerleader for those who want to improve themselves. 

Week after week, people weigh in to me.  They send me a number on the scale.  They say harsh things about themselves.  They tear themselves down.  They are frustrated and scornful.  They hate the scale.  They hate what it represents.  I ask them to change their mindset.  To focus on kindness and self-care.  I ask them to do what makes them feel good, but in a healthy way.  Eat foods you love, but are GOOD for you.  Find movement and activities that you enjoy so your life is enriched and you'll stick to it!  Be a friend that holds another friend accountable and find a friend that does the same for you.  Focus on being beautiful and healthy on the INSIDE.  Love yourself. 

When I see that I'm doing something or acting in a way that I don't like, I change it.  I put my big girl panties on and I own up to my failings/mistakes.  So I've slacked.  I lacked discipline.  I've let myself go.  I'm not taking care of me.  There are no excuses.  I'm in control of how I feel and act. 

My advice to those that base their worth on what the scale says?  Get over it.  Go stand in front of the mirror and ask yourself, "Am I hard worker? Am I fighting for what I really want?  Am I kind to myself?  Am I supportive of others?  Do I lead a life that I'm proud of?" That's where you measure yourself.  That's where you need to focus.  Taking care of you and living a life that is positive and healthy...THAT is what really matters!