My current goal is to train for a figure competition in December. I haven't fully commited to the competition (as in walking across the stage) because competition day wasn't as glamorous or fun for me the first time I did it. TRAINING was where all the magic happened for me. I loved getting stronger and seeing my body change. I loved pushing myself to the limit and doing things that I had always wanted to do but never believed I could. Did I look like a girl that would enjoy flipping a large tire across a parking lot? No, but I did love it once I told myself that I could and then actually got out there and did it. So this time around, my goal isn't to walk the stage, but my goal is to be completely confident in knowing I COULD walk the stage. My goal is something obtainable, something I enjoy, there's a time frame around it and what happens if I don't reach my goal by Dec. 14th? Will I be disappointed, sure, but will I have failed...absolutely not. I know what you're all thinking: Why train if you don't plan on walking the stage? Well, because I like the discipline, I like the challenge and I needed a date in mind to keep me focused. I know it sounds silly, but it's my goal, not anyone else's and it gives me a timeline and point of reference. I know how and what I want my body to look and feel and I know that if I don't set a date...well, then how to you measure the training period?
So back to Dec. 14th. What happens if I don't feel that I would be competition ready? Well, then I re-evalute and figure out what I need to do to get ready and I set a new goal. Can I get lean by Dec. 14th? Absolutely, I know myself well enough to know that. I'm disciplined and I really enjoy the clean eating and seeing the transformation. Can I get the muscle tone and definititon I need to get ready? Definitely, I understand the process and I've got a dynamite trainer that knows her stuff and I trust her to help me get there. Will I have the muscle mass? I don't know. I'm going to try my hardest and honestly, this is the part of the goal that I think I may fall short, but that's OK because if I'm not there Dec. 14th, I don't throw in the towel and say "dammit, I didn't get my biceps big enough, I quit!" No, I just set a new goal, recognize that I have to refocus and fine tune my goals and then try again. Guess what? I'm still better off than had I not set any goal at all and just got squishy stuffing my face full or s'mores. :)
So how does that relate to my friend that just wants to lose weight. Well, she's got a goal. She wants to drop some weight by the end of the 8 week challenge. Perhaps her goal was to lose 15lbs. So she gets to end of November and realizes she only lost 10. FAIL, right? WRONG! She's working towards her goal. The timeframe is not the end all be all in every situation. Yes, time frames are applicable in many situations, like if she said on Dec. 1st she was going to build a homemade rocket and fly to Jupiter... I'd have to pull her aside and say that her goal was just never going to happen, but that's not the case. She's working towards weight loss. 1 lb at a time, one day at a time, one bite or bite passed at a time. These goals are flexible, we can re-evaluate, refocus, learn from ourselves and keep plugging on!
Focusing on being kind to ourselves, recognizing our weaknesses and not invalidating our strengths is really the key in goal setting.
1. Understand what you know you're capable of doing and then push yourself just a little bit farther than your comfort zone.
2. Do something that challenges you, but doesn't crush you.
3. Build a life that's worth living, and living well, don't surround yourself with rules, restrictions and impossible scenarios that you won't maintain or enjoy day after day.
4. Be flexible. Understand that just because something doesn't work the way you thought it would means it isn't working, you may just need to adjust or modify.
5. Know when you've had too much. Don't obsess; when you find yourself feeling trapped and reeling with anxiety and distress about it all. STOP. The goal isn't right for you.
6. Reach out. Someone else is working on their goals too and you're not alone in how you feel. It's hard. Anything worth having is hard, so share the load. Talk to a friend, listen to a friend and don't allow yourself to hide behind your frustrations and fears. People care and they want you to succeed.
I love that I got to talk to a friend today and that she trusted me to share her struggles. I'm cheering her on and I know that she can achieve anything, one day at a time, one foot in front of the other, and if she takes a step back, well...it's not a failure; Life is a Dance and sometimes a Cha-Cha
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