Moving Forward

My husband was the first to go back to "life". Running our own businesses leaves us in the position that we are never allowed to really take too much time away from work. So over the weekend, he went back to tending to business. It wasn't easy but I know that he was searching for life to go back to normal (at least as normal as it can feel right now). He then went to workout on Sunday evening. He said it felt good; he felt like himself.

I thought that it might be good for me to take that approach, so at 7 AM today, I made my way to the gym. I popped my earbuds in; Buckcherry, Joan Jett, Lady Gaga...all the usuals. I tried to allow myself to enter the workout and fall into "mobile meditation". It was hard. I focused on my muscles; the flex, the stretch, the effort. My body was/is exhausted. One of the trainers stopped me to say that they had heard the news and that they were happy to see me pushing through at the gym. I smiled, thanked him, and then put my hand up to motion "that's all I can say today."

Karen would have wanted me back to life today. She wouldn't want me to crawl back in bed and sob myself silly. She wouldn't want me to make it to just 12 weeks out from competition and then quit. So, today...one foot in front of the other... life resumes.