The podcast discussion was very organic. We spoke as if we were just a couple ladies meeting for coffee and talking about life. The conversation was natural and I felt 100 times more comfortable than I had anticipated. Once the words started coming out of my mouth, my brain turned off and my heart spoke. As I spoke, more and more of my heart poured out and I felt that I could have gone on forever- I was so eager to share my experiences and offer support and hope to others! Unfortunately, the podcast is only 20 minutes or so long. Obviously, not enough time to share it all. I hope you'll take a moment to listen to it, share it and contact me if you have questions. I told Monica that I'd love to come back and answer any questions. It was a lot of fun, and I completely enjoyed the format. Thanks, Monica! I'm so happy and honored to be part of your amazing journey!
While thinking about the podcast, I do want to delve deeper into my journey for those that don't know me well, or even for those that do know me and didn't realize the magnitude of my transformation. My story isn't a tale of a woman who struggled with her weight her entire life. I had always been small. In highschool I was the tiniest thing; always the smallest of my friends. When I got married, I was small; after my first child, I went right back to my size 0/2 pants. It wasn't until after my second child, I found myself really struggling. The weight didn't just stay on, I continued to gain!
Interestingly, the weight gain directly correlated with my daily struggles and unhappiness in other areas of my life. My marriage was struggling, my business was on the brink of failure, I was feeling frustrated as a mother, a friend, and just about every other aspect of my life. I was truly unhappy. My outter appearance was a complete representation of how I felt on the inside.
I lied to myself daily, lied to my friends and family and built myself a cocoon made of a facade that my life was exactly how I wanted it to be. To the outside world, I was just busy. In reality, I WAS busy being everywhere other than where I needed to be. I neglected my family, poured myself into social activities (masked as community involvement) and gave every ounce of energy I had in creating an illusion that my life was wonderful and that everything around me was going just has planned. Inside, I was spiraling out of control. I was a miserable person that could not find comfort in anything. I was tired, felt unappreciated, over worked, stressed, jealous, insecure and to be 100% honest and real here...my life was not my own. I was living as an imposter that allowed myself to fall victim to my own excuses and misery.
I've struggled with depression and in 2009 I found myself at my lowest low. There were many factors that led to the tipping point. Seeing a picture of myself and unable to recognize what I had become, a sales clerk asking me when my baby was due (I was NOT pregnant) facing the possibility of divorce, the list goes on and on. We all have our battles, I won't try to persuade anyone that my life was any more or less difficult than anyone else's. We each have our battles, wounds and scars; those experiences either break us or force us to stand taller and rise above. Fortunately, for me, I had an incredible support system and I was able to claw myself out of the dark trenches.
When I finally regained control of myself, my health and my fitness, EVERYTHING else just sort of fell into place. My marriage grew stronger, my business flourished and went on to win awards, expand and be noted as one of the top programs in the county and state, and my relationships were deeper, more meaningful and well, healthier. All my success was possible because I was finally focusing on my health and i was FINALLY able to give my best me!
When I hear people say that they can't afford to take the time to take care of themselves (eat well, exercise, etc) well, my question is how can you afford NOT to make the time!?!?! You cannot take care of anyone or anything if you cannot take care of yourself.
I could go on and on forever about how my positive health changes affected the positive changes in other areas of my life, but all one would have to do is look at my life. I live it the changes. I'm going to meet with Monica again soon and answer specifiic questions, but my advice to all: Health begets health. When you feel strong, happy and in control of yourself, you cannot help but feel strong, happy and healthy and completely in control of all areas of your life.
I'm sure I'll talk more about this in the future. :)
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