Learning Some Lessons

So I've been recovering from a surgery.  I'm on day 12 of recovery and I've decided that because of what I've learned and experienced to date, it was something that I needed to share.  I won't go into the gory details and explain the ins and outs of the surgery; it's something that was necessary for me to do and I'm taking one day at a time and moving forward.  I will write about what I've learned through this experience though because that's what I want to focus on in this specific post.  

In the months leading up to my operation, I worked hard.  I ate clean and trained dirty.  I focused on getting into really great shape, because everyone knows the healthier you are, the faster you heal!  I was told that the recovery would be long.  So when the doctors told me months, I "heard" weeks.  I just had disillusioned myself to believe that I was stronger than the average Jill and that what I was being told were not really things that applied to a beast like me.  HA. HA. HA.... HA.  

So here I am.  Day 12.  Not only am I still really in a lot of pain, my pride is pretty bruised too.  Let me just be honest, Days 1, 2, 3, 4, oh hell...up to day 7 were pretty much a blur.  I was doped up, asleep most of the time or high as a kite and I am told that I scolded my 6 year old for wearing bananas on his feet.  Yeah, pretty much just under 24 hour watch and care and not really sure what went on those days.   I know that I had a lot of visitors and I have blips of moments and conversations that I can recall with people as they came to see me and care for me and my family.  While I'm talking about those that came to visit us, or called in to chat,  I have just about the best friends and family anyone could ask for and nothing showed that more than the love and support we received and have continued to receive.  

So back to day 7, I had expected good news from my doctor.  I had expected to hear that I was making remarkable progress and that he could not be more amazed with how well I was doing and that I would be on my feet in no time at all.  Remember, I've been completely doped up for a week, I had no idea how I really looked or what I truly felt like.  However, when he looked at me and told me that he had some concerns and that they would need to do a minor procedure because something "didn't look right" and he'd rather just get in there and find out what's going on...well, to say I was crushed is a major understatement.  Lesson:  I am human.  I do not possess super powers and I cannot compare my recovery to anyone or anything else.  It is mine and it will take the time it needs to take, regardless of who I think or believe I am.  I am not in control of this process.  

Days 8-10.  HELL.  Absolute, unequivocal, hell.  I cried non-stop.  I was in agony.  I couldn't believe what was happening in my life.  I felt guilt that I could not care for my family.  Our lives were upside down and I was finally facing reality in that it was going to take some time for things to be normal again.  I felt even greater guilt that my husband had moved his office to our home to care for me round the clock and manage our household; he administered meds, he was never more than 20 ft from me unless he was carpooling kids, walking the dog, putting together meals, or getting something for me that he thought might give me happiness, comfort or put my angst at ease.  He was/is a saint.  I could not be in more awe of this man.  He not only stepped up to care for me, he stepped in and cared for everything.  All with the patience, understanding, love and tenderness that brings tears to my eyes because in our 12 + years together, I have not seen a greater demonstration of absolute love and devotion.  

I woke him from his sleep at 3:30am on day 9.  I sobbed like I hadn't sobbed in years.  I was so completely broken and experiencing just about every negative emotion humanly possible.  He did not even try to rationalize with me.  He did not complain that it was 3:30 in the morning.  He did not mention that for the last 9 days he had slept in either a chair or couch next to me, waking every 4 hours to give me meds, take me to the bathroom, rub my legs, get me water, adjust my pillow, the list goes on and on.  He held me.  He let me cry.  He said it was "ok" and asked what I needed.  HE ASKED WHAT I NEEDED!?!?!  I sobbed harder.  What I needed was to make it all go away.  What I needed was to show him that I was so thankful and that I loved him so much that I could take care of things too, that I was his partner and that he didn't have to do everything.  Of course, at this point we all knew that there was absolutely NOTHING I could do and that he was handling everything.  Alone.  I once again, could not handle the pain of this realization.  I was so devastated by this I fell to pieces and I could not put myself back together again.  Looking at it now...Lesson:  I am loved.  I am with someone that truly puts all his needs aside for the one he loves.  At one point, he was helping me shuffle across our family room to sit, and he held my hand in his and he said, "I'll be your anchor."  He said it meaning, "put your weight into me, so you don't fall."  I heard the truth...He is my anchor.  

Day 10 was my angry day.  I could not even formulate a sentence without completely falling apart.  I had no one to be angry with, and I couldn't get myelf around to even stomp or slam things, so I just laid there and sulked.  I slept when I could, would wake up and cry, I tried to avoid phone calls, but my dear friend, who is also a P.A. and has closely monitored me through this process (I had been dodging her calls for 2 days now) phoned again and I knew if I didn't speak to her she would be beating down the door within the hour.  I answered.  She immediately said, "Spill it" and I did.  I cried and cursed and cried some more.  She said all the right things, made me laugh, listened to me rant and tantrum and well...lose it.  Zero judgment.  She just loved me.  She spoke to me with doctor words and brought me through reality and helped me gain new perspective.  That phone call changed me.  After we hung up, I answered all the texts from everyone else, I took other phone calls, I cried some more with other friends and I stopped saying "I'm fine." and started being honest and started saying "I hurt.  I'm scared.  I need my friends."  Lesson:  I have real friends.  REAL friends.  I learned that these friends aren't just for Girls' Night Out, they are for life.  Daily life; ups, downs, laughs, cries and all that in between.   I have almost 800 "friends" through social media.  I have people who think they know me.  I have aquaintances that are lovely and I enjoy my time with them.  Then I have FRIENDS.  The ones that check in, visit, call, bring lunch or dinner, drop of magazines, send funny little texts throughout the day to make me smile and give it to me straight when I'm having a complete meltdown.  I have FRIENDS that even when I'm not going through something like this, we make TIME for each other.  Even if it's just 30 seconds a day to say, "Hey, thinking of you." As we ended our conversation and I said, "Why on earth would you ever want to be friends with a lunatic like me?"  She laughed and said, "because I love you and I know for a fact you'd be there for me." and she's right.  I look at my dynamic group of incredible women friends and I am so incredibly thankful.  A friend is someone that loves you even when you have nothing to give but YOU...so to all my FRIENDS, thanks babes!  You have NO idea how much I value each one of you.  Your actions warmed my heart and lifted my spirits.  

Day 11, I turned a corner.  I had a good night's sleep (probably from exhaustion of all the crying!) but I woke up ready to conquer the world.  Then I readjusted my perspective and decided I was ready to conquer the hour and just take it from there.  I set myself into a positive mindset and managed to get myself presentable because my husband was taking me to the doctor for a follow up.  I lowered my expectations so that I would not be disappointed.  I went in expecting nothing, I got nothing (meaning not much progress, but no set backs either!)  My husband said, "well that was sort of anti-climatic" but I was just happy to not be disappointed, so for us both, the appt well beautifully.  However, it WIPED me out and I slept most of the day afterwards.  My mom brought us dinner and she was so happy to see me happy and well rested that I thought her heart would just burst.  I managed to have a productive evening with a Webinar for work (thankfully there are a few things that can distract me from this recovery) and I went to bed feeling as though I had given my best and it resulted in a good day.  

Today, Day 12.  I didn't sleep well last night.  My legs and back hurt.  I could not get comfortable.  I laid awake most the night watching the clock waiting for the next round of pain meds.  I felt myself getting frustrated that I couldn't fluff pillows or roll over to my side or really do anything but just lay there and watch the minutes go by.  I was determined to allow my husband to sleep.  I just had to let him sleep.  I knew if I woke him, I'd have another day 9.  I knew it.  So I had a rough night on my own.  As morning arrived, the kids were getting ready for school, Marty was doing the morning scramble (alone again) I felt myself sinking.  I didn't even want coffee or breakfast.  Marty sat with me and rubbed my leg and asked again what could he do.  I cried.  I turned my face to my pillow and cried.  I couldn't face him.  I hated that I was sinking back especially after I had such a good day the day before.  I didn't want to go back to the negative feelings.  I told him that he needed to just get the kids to carpool and I would be ok by the time he got back.  He left and I turned back into my pillow and cried.  Cried hard.  I put on my brave face, but still hadn't moved, not even attempted to shuffle myself to bathroom when he came back home.  He knew it too.  But I saw in his face as he prepared himself for a rough day.  He wasn't scornful or resentful.  He was focused and determined.  He was strong.  I looked at him for a minute and then said, "I'd like to get dressed for work today"  LOL!  So he helped me get ready.  I did my make up and put on a pretty blouse with my sweatpants and even put on jewelry.  He cleaned up our family room (my bedroom) and set a hot cup of coffee by the computer he had moved to the family room and placed near our large comfy chair...and I "went to work".  I worked all morning.  I even had a meeting with my directors (they came to the house) and were very very productive.  The girls were patient with me.  I'm sure I lost focus and I had to apologize many times because I was feeling tired and they had to repeat a lot of conversation and details from previous days.  It felt amazing to work.  I may have pushed too hard, as I was getting more and more tired, but I also felt exhilerated because I was DOING SOMETHING.  It ended up being a fantastic morning, and got even better as one of friends brought my favorite lunch and we chatted for a long while.  Lesson:  I can't control the process, but I can control my attitude.  I made up my mind to be positive and that's exactly what I did. I was cheerful, thankful, honest and faced the day with the mindset that I could get through it without falling apart.  That's exactly what I did.  

So now, it's time for bed.  I feel good about today.  Day 11 and 12 have been positive for me.  I'm tired now though, so I'll continue tomorrow.  Many more lessons I cannot wait to share!

Moving With Purpose

The other morning while standing in the check out lane at the grocery store, I painfully watched as the cashier clumsily went through my belongings.  She struggled to get them scanned, carelessly tossed them past the conveyor bellt and haphazardly man-handled my items.  To me, it seemed her mind was elsewhere and she was just "going through the motions" hardly giving thought to the job that was before her.  

Several weeks ago, Blythe posted a discussion in our challenge group about going through the motions and how we really needed to focus on what we are doing during out workouts; making each movement deliberate and putting forth the energy to make change.  As I watched this woman who seemed to be light years away from being a cashier, it struck me that Blythe's lesson went way beyond the correlation of movement in exercise and really had to do with the greater picture of how we each go through life!

Something I've always said is that we need to "move with purpose".  We get up every moment with a purpose for the day.  We have goals, aspirations, "to do lists" and meaning to our day.  If we don't...then what do we expect to happen?  Are you someone that waits for your life to happen to you?  Are you waiting for life to fall into place?  Do you really expect that life will get better or that you'll magically fall into the right path that leads you to success?  Things don't just happen!  YOU HAVE TO PLAN AND PREP!  There's no such thing as luck, only prior proper planning meeting opportunity.  Do you really think you'll wake up one day and say, "wow, I finally dropped 10lbs!"  or  be walking down the street and pick up a winning lottery ticket that will change your life?  Life just doesn't work that way.  You must work for what you want; anything worth having takes work and if it sounds too easy to be true, chances are it isn't true.  

Too often I see people floating through life like a plastic bag, yet always wondering why they aren't getting to where they want to be.  I'm not someone that allows life to happen to me, I go out and live the life I want and work hard to achieve what I believe my purpose should be for myself.  I don't expect anything to be easy and I do not belive I can be made a victim of circumstances unless I give up that control.  That's not to say that I never have a bad day, but there's a difference between having a bad day and a bad life.  Do you feel that you can never get on track?  Do you feel that you're a victim of circumstances?  Do you feel like you're out of control and can't collect the reigns of your own path?  Look deeper within yourself.  Are you working as hard as you can?  Are you listening to your own excuses and setting up your own road blocks?  Are you just a cashier tossing things across a conveyer belt waiting for life to shake you awake?  Whatever you answer, where ever you are in life, really reflect upon yourself and make the commitment to stop going through the motions and take control of who you are and who you want to be!

What's Your Health Worth to You?

Do you have $6.25? That's a Starbucks coffee, a Subway Sandwich, a few days shopping at the vending machine. It's also the cost of our Weight Loss Challenge and Fitness Program!

That's right, for $6.25/week you get to participate in da...ily check-ins from the comfort and privacy of your home, weekly physical and nutritional challenges, weekly lessons and discussions with the world's #1 weight loss Podcast speaker, Blythe Alberg, and the invaluable support and motivation from a community of people who are all working to improve their overall health and wellness! Oh, and there's cash for the top "losers" after 12 weeks! Yes, you get a hot new bod AND CASH! Sounds like a win-win!  


 

 

 

Challenge Rules:

1) First weigh in is Friday, 4/4
a. Scale Picture- Must use SAME DIGITAL SCALE (no exceptions!) throughout entire challenge! Change your batteries now, get your pedicure, and always always always weigh yourself wearing the same exact clothes (or nothing!) and at the same time of day! First thing in the morning is best! My advice: GET UP, PEE, WEIGH, SUBMIT
b. Before Picture
i. Men- Sports shorts
ii. Women- Sports bra and shorts of swimsuit
2) Each Week I will post nutritional and physical challenges. Blythe will post her weekly lesson. There is a Monday Check-In, that’s when you let us know how you’re doing and what your weekly goals are.
3) Every Friday you weigh in using a link through Google Docs (I will provide you with the link) YOU MUST TAKE A SCALE PIC EVERY FRIDAY and email it us as well! If you cannot produce picture that matches the weight you submitted, you are automatically DQ’d.
4) Every couple weeks, I will post a TEAM CHALLENGE. That's when you work collectively to hit a goal (ie. highest average minutes exercised, largest average % weight lost for the week, most team participation, etc) It helps break up the monotony of the 12 weeks and gives you even more accountability; lets face it...you will work harder when you're worried about letting others down because they will KICK YOUR ASS! LOL! Team captains can tell you more because they've done the challenges before and they know my methods a bit better. I think sometimes it can be helpful to reach out to a team captain when you're struggling or need support because you know they are right there with you. It's a buddy system that allows you to seek support in a smaller group. You cheer each other on, push each other and participate in friendly banter! The teams are AWESOME!
5) At the end of the 12 weeks, the top 3 losers (based on % of weight loss) split the cash pot! 1st place- 60% cash, 2nd place 25% cash and 3rd place 15% cash.
6) Challenge goes from 4/4 to 6/20. The object of this challenge is not to starve yourself on Thursdays so that you have a lower weight on Friday. This is about living a healthy lifestyle that finds balance. Eat well, exercise and enjoy life! This is about sustainable weight loss, with a little friendly competition while gaining knowledge to improve your lifestyle and maintain healthy habits!
7) YOU ARE ALLOWED ONE MISSED WEIGH IN! After that, you are DQ’d. If you know you can’t weigh in on a Friday, submit weight on Thursday please!

Message me for more details at figureitoutchallenge@gmail.com

 

Making Health a Priority

When you think about your day, there are some things that you do without fail.  Those are your habits.  You get up, get ready for your day, go to work, or start working on your projects at home.  You have your routine.  Your life.  When you make your health and fitness a priority, that becomes your life as well; it becomes part of your routine.  

Every week I have to grocery shop for my kids' school lunches.  I plan, I purchase and I prep.  It's not always fun, and sometimes I'm scattered, rushed and feeling stuck, but it gets done becuase my children need a packed lunch.  Why do I do it?  Well, because I HAVE to.  It's a necessary.  It is part of our life.  Well, meal prep and lunch prep for myself and my family is equally important.  I take away the variable that I can "just go out to lunch" or "I'll grab a quick bite while I'm out".  I make it a plan.  I make it a priority, a NECESSARY for me to do the same plan and prep as I would for my children.  

Every day, I brush my teeth.  Why?  Well, because it's healthy; it's necessary; it's part of my routine.  I don't say, "oh, I don't feel like brushing my teeth today" or "on Monday, I'll start brushing my teeth again".  It just doesn't work that way.  I know the difference between 3 minutes of brushing teeth and 30 minutes of exercise is a little different, but the concept is the same.  I exercise because it is healthy; it is necessary; it is part of my routine.  I get up, I brush my teeth, I wash my face, I get dressed, I work out, then I get ready for my day.  That's my routine.  Sometimes, it doesn't always work out in that order, and I have to make time to get the exercise to fit some place else in my schedule, but 90% of the time, I can carve time out of my day to get that part of my routine done.  

Everyone has 24 hours in a day.  I do not live in some magical vortex where I get extra time to exercise.   I have small children that require a lot of my time and focus.  I run my own business, I organize and mentor weigh loss challenges, I volunteer in my community and I still manage to have a social life and find downtime.  I'm not trying to sound all "high and mighty", but my point is I make time for things that are a priority to me.  We ALL do.  We just have to make sure our "wants" are not taking priority over our "needs".  Bottom line, HEALTH MUST BE A NEED.  Without your health, you have nothing.

Are you having trouble making time?  Let's review our schedules.

1.  Write out your schedule and routine.

2.  Are there things in there that are unnecessary?

3.  What are you spending the majority of your time doing?

4.  Is it necessary to spend that much time?

5.  Do you have 30-60 minutes where you could fit in time to exercise?

6.  Do you have idle time?  (Facebook, Candy Crush, Television, Talking on the Phone, etc)

7.  Recognize your time wasted.  What are your "time suckers"?

8.  Reprioritize.  

If you'd like more help in setting a schedule/routine, feel free to message me at figureitoutchallenge@gmail.com 

Remember, you don't FIND time for your priorities, you MAKE time.