July 28th Progress Pictures

I do have progress pictures from this week even though I'm not sharing suit pictures yet. I didn't have the same outfit I've had on for the last several weeks, but its close enough...

Meltdown City

After trying on my suit, I went into complete meltdown. The meltdown lasted about two days; tears, self-doubt, misery, shock, etc. Every negative emotion imaginable...I experienced it.

The suit is gorgeous. Its perfect in every single way. The fabric is rich, the jewels are perfectly placed, its cut exactly to fit my body. So what's wrong? Its TINY. I don't mean, it doesn't fit, I mean that its TINY, like barely there; non-existent. It might as well be dental floss.

I think the reality is hitting me like a ton of bricks. I'm going to be walking on stage in front of hundreds of people and asking a panel of judges to look at my body (my body that has been through the ringer with pregnancy, weight gain and weight loss) and basically exposing myself, my journey and my hard work to all. When the reality hit, I lost my confidence. It took me about 48 hours to decide that I need to go through with this and work my butt off (literally) for the next 2 weeks to give it my absolute best on competition day. Just the thought of it still makes my stomach turn. I just can't believe I'm really going through with this. Its just all so real; so sudden; so "no turning back now".

Marty says, "no one's holding a gun to your head. If you decide you can't do this, its ok" HA! I would never forgive myself. I'm not a quitter. I'm scared shitless, but I'm not a quitter! He knew that about me, he's just trying to ease my worries.

I had my workouts with Blythe on Wednesday and Thursday. I kicked my own ass on Friday, doing HIIT today on my own, and I'll push through the next two weeks with purpose. I have to remember that this is my FIRST show. I've only really been working out hard for a year and I've only been training for the competition since February 2010. That's not a lot of time for a newbie.

I've lost almost 50lbs now; I feel incredible; I'm in the smallest size clothing I've been in since High School; my life feels amazing; my kids are seeing a healthy life style... the pros go on and on! I'm already a winner!

So here I go... I'm sure I'll have a couple more meltdowns in the next 14 days. I've just got to keep my eyes on the goal and recognize that the journey has really been the reward!

(BTW I've decided I'm not posting pictures of the suit until after competition...I feel that's anti-climatic) LOL!

My suit has arrived!!!

My suit is here!!! I'll post pictures soon! It is gorgeous! Thank you, Berns from Passionfruit Designs!

Posing Class Success!

On Sunday I attended a Posing Class with Blythe and three other competitors at Athens Health Club. I was sooooo nervous! The other three women are preparing for the Charm City Classic, an OCB competition in October. I was impressed that they attended a posing class 3 months before their competition. I was also surprised that we were all so tall! It gave me hope that I wasn't going to look like such a giant at the competition (being that I have been a good 4-5 inches taller than anyone I've met previously!) Seeing that there are other taller girls competing was like taking in a big breath of fresh air.


We practiced our line up, four quarter turn mandatory poses and then did our stage walk (T-walk) I was happy I brought my music because I was able to practice and make note that my song's beat is a little fast so I need to make sure that I really slow my walk down and not speed through my routine.

During the class, I realized just how subjective this sport really is; all four of us had very very different bodies. One lady had incredible abs; unlike any I've ever seen in person. One woman's legs were solid rocks and just looked amazing; the other had shoulders with beautiful caps. I might be on the smaller side when it comes to muscle mass, but I'm definitely proportioned nicely and I think that will be my strong suit.

We all fumbled along and made lots of mistakes, but we also made lots of improvements in that short amount of time. I definitely feel more confident in my transtions, my grace, my stage presence and my posing. :)

19 days to go!!!

Things are coming together...quickly!

I'm am:

• Registered
• Tickets are Pre-ordered
• Pro-tan arrived yesterday
• music is picked out an on CD
• confirmation received that suit will be here Aug. 1st
• posing class confirmed for this Sunday

Its really coming together. I'm so anxious, excited, nervous, scared, thrilled...the list of emotions goes on and on.

I've spent the last year setting goals, reaching them, setting new goals and just working hard on my health and fitness. Now in the last three weeks before competition I feel like everything is happening so fast! I don't know if I'll ever feel ready!

July 21st Progress Pictures

I'm just a little over three weeks out until competition day. My weight has been hovering over a certain point for the last two weeks so let's hope that this next week I'm able to break the plateau and lose that last bit! Overall, I feel pretty good... I feel like if this is the best I can get for now, I'm perfectly happy with that. I'm trying not to stress and just recognize how far I've come along! Its almost time!!!

Competition Location Set!

I'm getting so nervous! I can't believe this is all happening! I'm a little over 3 weeks out until the big day and I'm about to die from nerves.

I'm getting ready to pre-order tickets! Let me know if you would like for me to reserve yours. You can also purchase tickets at the door...

Go to www.theOCB.com and look up Presidential Cup in Washington, DC for more information.

The Finals start at 5:00 pm